So do you ever feel like you become the worst version of yourself? I know that's a line somewhere in this world, but it just explains what I'm feeling right now. I am not miserable by any means. I'm enjoying life, almost too much. I feel like I have totally taken my focus and placed it in the wrong things. The enjoyment that comes out of those things is momentary but for some reason I don't care. I'm happy. Yet I am wondering in the back of my mind if I'm doing the right thing. Guilt... Ah... is that what it is? Yes, maybe it is guilt. And I'm sure it will be so consuming that I will change, but for now I'm living my life, and as selfish as this sounds, I'm living it for me.
I went to see X2 on Thursday night at midnight with some of my friends from work. I had a lot of fun! I was glad to see them outside of their work environment. My sister and brother-in-law came and I was extra thankful to have people that I cared so much about to be there with me. We’re going to be doing this again in a week from this Thursday for The Matrix! I can’t wait! Though the lack of sleep that comes with it wasn’t too great, I found myself bearing 4 hours of sleep rather well! I used to think that I was an 8 hours of sleep a night girl, after this experience I’m thinking maybe I’m closer to 6 hours of sleep a night girl. I have been more upbeat and energetic with less sleep. So I’m trying it and seeing how long I can last. ;)
Now my dog Chacha has me worried. She is a 14-year-old red Chow. I named her Chacha Ming Lee because when I got her I was in 6th grade and chacha was my code name, (back when you have code names) ;) and my dad was determined to give her a Chinese sounding name (he was big into the dynasty’s at that moment). She is getting old. She has a hard time walking, and hates being outdoors, but when we bring her in she's had a couple accidents, so we try to keep her outside, but the younger dogs are picking on her (I believe because she’s the weak one). It just breaks my heart. Look at this cute little face! She is such a pretty dog. She is old. I’m scared for her now though.
posted by Charity at 5/06/2003 01:31:00 PM 
