Well where do I begin? I love starting statements like that! I've realized my sister and I have the same exact outlook on life, "go, go, go and go... big sigh... and go some more". I think we like chaos. ;) It's not necessarily the greatest way to approach life, but it can be fun.
So here it is July 7th already and my weekend was non-stop! Last weekend I saw a friend of mine get married. I was one of her bridesmaids. It was an outdoor wedding and amazingly came together in the end even with everything going wrong. But after taking a week to think about the marriage I feel bad for my friend. I hate to say that she has made a decision for a rough life. Her marriage will be a rough one, unless God intervenes for them both. Which I will be praying for. I just realize that they don't have the love that I hope to have in my own marriage. Not saying that's the only way to be in love, but it seems that they aren't TRULY in love. I then went to another wedding exactly a week later. I felt like I was in the lineup with how much I did for the wedding. But I had a blast being apart of it. She's a really good friend and her wedding turned out awesome! I had a lot of fun helping out. I am starting to tell my heart towards getting married and having a family of my own is changing. I never felt the desire to be married or have kids and have a home. Now it's something that I'm very much so desiring and looking forward to having myself. Being at these two weddings showed me how much I want for my own wedding. It gave me ideas of the do's and don't's of weddings.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching. In the last month and a half to two months I've avoided any deep thoughts about my motives and desires for doing the things that I do. I think about it, but I usually run away from my thoughts. But I'm starting to get reorganized again. I've found that organizing my debt and making payment arrangements to get my credit under control has made me realize how many other things in my life need to be changed and organized. So what if I don't have a life for now, as long as I keep on the right track, in a year or so things financially and physically can get back on track. I've been gaining weight rapidly and getting very depressed and need to get it under control. I'm miserable in my clothes, but haven't found the motivation to stick to losing it. Well I think God has given me that motivation. But we will soon see how it goes. I have one week before I can afford to do anything about my diet but I can at least start going to the gym! This is my main desire. Working at a desk job hasn't helped my weight loss either. I need to start doing more physical activities.
Well it's time that I go to work. Maybe if it's slow I'll write more cause there is a lot more that I'd like to discuss. But most likely it will be pretty busy today so who knows. I'll write more when I can!
posted by Charity at 7/07/2003 11:36:00 AM 
