So it’s been over a week since I was laid off and I am hanging in there. The weekend I was laid off was hard. I kept hearing stories and wanted to set the record straight.
I will say this for the record, I was pulled into the office and specifically told I had done NOTHING wrong and that the company was in financial hardships and had to downsize and they had to let me go. And I also received a decent severance package to soften the blow.
My first week without a job was quite the emotional rollercoaster. I was thrilled to be let go of a company that I wanted out of and getting paid to leave was a nice bonus! And with everything that I’ve heard since I left I am really glad I no longer work for a company that is filled with such ethical issues. I kept hearing different things than what I was told. So even if I was the one lied to, would I want to work for someone that lies to my face? Or do I want to work for someone that tells me the truth as they let me go but puts on a front for everyone that is staying behind? And ironically I was told 2 others aside from the original 3 were getting laid off as well. I was given names! Which seems a bit unprofessional, don’t you think? But not only that, my friend David who went in literally moments after me was told the number was 7! He was not given any names. And wouldn’t you know it; just the three of us were laid off… My dad, who still works for the company has told me that the CEO said he missed me. So I took that as an opportunity to ask for a Letter of Recommendation. I’ll be curious if that will happen.
So… all week I couldn’t focus on much. I applied for 5 jobs and did testing for one and passed and now need to get them a typing certificate and was told the community college offers it. That’s where I’m headed after testing for another position tomorrow morning.
But after I did that (applied for those 5 jobs) I still had plenty of hours in the day to mope around. In fact that’s just what I did. I didn’t feel like calling people, replying to emails, blogging, or anything that required thought. I couldn’t get to any of my projects because when I sat down to do them I found my mind wandering. Then I would beat myself up for not doing more. I was so afraid of getting used to being lazy. I didn’t want to fall into a rut.
It wasn’t until Thursday when I went down the hill with my mom that I was able to talk through all the emotions and get to the bottom of it all. I avoided anything that had to do with facing emotions. Talking, writing or anything of the sort made me face the reality that I no longer had a job and I didn’t know what I was going to do. I couldn’t even focus on my morning devotionals (praying, reading and journaling). I was running from reality. I was running from God because I knew He would make me face my reality head-on! Just admitting that to myself and to my mom changed my attitude. I was completely relieved. It was exactly a week from the day I was laid off. And I felt like I could finally breathe.
Later Thursday evening I got my paperwork back from Unemployment and was told that I was going to receive 450/wk! Which my initial estimate was 300/wk! So that’s quite a bit more then I was expecting! And it starts right away even though I’m getting a severance package! I’m very thankful for that.
So now I’m back on track. I’ve been arranging a “To Do…” list that helped me organize myself at my last job and I have more tweaking but it feels good to keep the pattern going. I have been totally slacking on my diet as well, so back to the grind with that tomorrow. And I am ok giving myself some time to breathe as far as feeling like I’m slipping into a rut. I know this whole thing takes time. The one thing that I can’t falter on is my devotions. I need to make it more personal. I need to be on my knees seeking God’s face. I want to build my relationship again. I want to honestly yearn for Him. Today’s sermon was more confirmation of that!
I am still very excited about what the future holds. And now that I have my finances covered that’s one less concern. I know that if I keep up with the goal of applying for 5 jobs a week I will be doing pretty well for myself.
And it’s my bedtime. I have a long day tomorrow, probably the only day this next week that is full. I am also planning a surprise party for my mom. So that will keep me busy this week as well. It’s a good thing she doesn’t do the computer thing! But she’s turning 60! I hope this blesses her. We’re focusing on the fact that 60 is the “age of understanding” and that’s our theme. We want this to give her honor for who she’s become. I hope it turns out.
Oh and I think I broke my two little toes! I was lifting my leg to step over a fan and slammed them on a t.v. stand! It hurt like crazy and they are bruised up pretty bad. I can’t wear shoes without them hurting and I can’t bend my toes. It sucks!
Anyways, goodnight and I’ll try to update more often now that I’ve gotten out of my funk.
posted by Charity at 7/16/2006 10:09:00 PM 
