I have had a wonderful day! The first wonderful day I’ve had in a LONG time. I am filled with a genuine happiness. So much has changed. I’ve been hurting for so long I’m not sure how to handle it. Something happened to me the other night, something unexpected. I went to bed feeling like it would never end; the pain, the sorrow, the hurt, the tears… In the midst of yet another sleepless night filled with an indescribable ache; I woke with a new found freedom; a joy; a hope. I have not felt overwhelmed or sad or even emotional since that night. It’s only been a few days and I only keep feeling better. The heaviness that has lifted is incredible! I fear that it is only temporary. But I am not going to feed into that fear. I am going to believe that the battle is over. A new life has begun.
It’s amazing to see God’s hand in all of this. I feel truly blessed! The people He has put in my path. Friends that I hadn’t realized I even had have been encouraging me and giving me advice. Not all of them giving me godly advice but their advice still brought me closer to God. Today I took a “Gratitude Walk” as my friend Jason called it. And it was invigorating! What I was instructed to do was to take a walk and say everything that I was grateful for in my life and I did just that! He also mentioned that I was quite down on myself and forced me through random moments in our conversations to name 5 new things I like about myself each time. That can be really tough. But the thing is, after only a few times I really do see a lot more about myself that’s good and that I’m grateful for. In all of the rejection I’ve experienced lately I kept feeling like there was something wrong with me, or that I had done something wrong. I now am starting to realize that in some cases it wasn’t me at all and in other cases maybe the other person was the one that had something wrong with them. And that whatever they were dealing with, I shouldn’t take as a personal attack on me.
I want to thank all my friends, especially those of you that have not allowed me to let any negative thoughts fester in our conversations. I am feeling so alive and free; I’m extremely excited to see what the future holds!
Oh and I GOT MY CAMERA! I love it! I take it with me EVERYWHERE! I take pictures of everything! I can’t wait to get some photo shoots set up. I’ve been offering like never before. I sometimes wonder why I never invested into a camera sooner. It wasn’t as expensive as I thought it would be, but then again I know this is only the beginning! Luckily this is a beginning I can live with for a while. Anyways, I leave you with some of my first shots with my new camera.
Labels: Pictures
posted by Charity at 9/20/2006 09:59:00 PM 
