Rough days - Yesterday was a rough day.
Someone read my blog and somehow felt the need to misrepresent what was written. Not sure if the person who read my blog did it or the person they told, who then used it against me. Either way, I felt attacked and kind of taken back that either party felt it was their responsibility to hand out accusations about me without actually *reading* my blog correctly! I thought about clarifying what was actually written but then wondered what the use would be, they obviously read what they wanted to read and therefore would only hear what they wanted to hear. I kept going back to what my friend Jason reminds me "what you think of me is none of my business". That's a tough one for someone who is a "people pleaser" through and through. But this is something I've had to learn.
It's more like it's been a "rough week" then just a rough day yesterday. Yeah I did have a week off from work. But there were other dramas going on in my life. But I think yesterday was the straw that broke the camels back. I lost it on my drive home. I was hurt and angry. I felt very alone and kept thinking how can I be so down? Why do I feel so rejected and abandoned?
An incident between two close friends happened last weekend that impacted me probably more then it should. It was the attitude of one of them in particular as he took something further then he should have and wouldn't back off even when I asked him to. I was pretty down about the whole thing. I have been hurt by him before. It's sadly a cycle we've been through twice and this last time I had been, what I thought, extra cautious not to get too involved. Unfortunately even though I was careful I still felt a sting.
Great Friends - God reminded me (as I drove home last night with anger and disappointment at the people that I felt I could trust) that though some of my friends may have let me down, there were other sweet people that have been there for me this last week. It's odd, the people I didn't expect to let me down did and the ones I didn't think were really friends came through for me when I really needed them. Half of them not even knowing how much their actions meant to me.
On the 4th of July my friend Armando from Vegas texted me. I was debating on whether or not I wanted to go out in the heat and go to a BBQ. I found out he was home so I got online and we had a nice chat. We haven't had that many opportunities to chat. He was the one I was gonna go with to the Roger Waters show in Vegas. It was nice to chat with him. He's the only person I've really done video chats with well other then Sam but Sam and I don't talk very much anymore accept the occasional catch up chat while at work. Either way, Armando is a cutie and is always so flattering.
Jerry called me last night as I was almost home from my rough day. I wasn't sure if I should talk to him in the frame of mind I was in. But it proved to be a good thing. It's always nice to talk to someone and get your mind off your troubles. He's a sweet guy, very uplifting and encouraging and always has been since I've gotten to know him over the last few weeks. He seems like my own personal cheerleader. :) "If Charity can't do it, no one can!" hehe
Shortly after I settled in for the evening my friend Peter called and had me laughing so hard I was crying! Peter is from Washington and I know him through work. He's flying down to visit his friend in Santa Monica and we're all gonna meet up and go to Disneyland or something. He's a great guy, very considerate and sometimes trips me out because his many voices and tangents sound very much like Jesse and I'm usually rolling the whole time begging him to stop so I can catch my breath! But I thanked him and told him that he had no idea how much I needed his call and he said God works in mysterious ways. hehe How very true.
As I talked to him, I realized how blessed I was to have such great friends. And that I didn't need to feel alone. Today has been quite the opposite of yesterday or even the whole week! I have a lot of events coming up.
Fiji - And remember how I mentioned there
*might* be a possibility of me going to Fiji... Well it's official. I will be going to Fiji! I can't wait! The pictures! Think of all the beautiful pictures I'll be able to take! Yeah this is an opportunity of a lifetime. Again the financial burden is going to be tough to swallow... I may be gagging for quite a while afterwards, but honestly I've decided to accept that! I mean I could have possibly waited till I could afford to go to Fiji but it's highly doubtful I'd have the whole family there to enjoy it with. My sister is not able to make it. We're all hoping for a miracle because it would be a bummer that she would miss out. I'll be leaving in the evening of Friday July 27th and coming home early morning August 7th.
Wisdom Teeth - I'm sure some of you are curious as to my experience. I had written a post Saturday because I was feeling so well but never completed it and then took a turn for the worse Sunday. So here's the bulk of my experience and I'll add a little more to the bottom.
*the below was written Saturday June 30th*Well I survived! Hehe (Like it’s a rare occurrence huh?) My wisdom teeth are out. My jaw hurts. I’ve got chipmunk cheeks and it’s hard to talk for any length of time. But honestly I’m feeling great today! So here’s the lowdown of my experience with getting my wisdom teeth pulled.
I got there at 8 am and wasn’t brought back into the room till about 8:30. The doctor’s assistant put something over my nose and just told me to tell him when I started to feel weird. Turns out it was laughing gas. I told him when I started to feel it but also that I didn’t like the feeling. He turned it down and told me to breath out of my mouth. He hooked me up to an IV and asked a few normal questions. I could hear my monitor beeping.
My doctor came in and I liked him immediately. He was funny. Most people make comments about my name, but he said he liked it, and I told him I liked it to, and he was like, ok… I’ll let you keep it then. He also got on my good side when he didn’t believe that I weighed what I weigh. Haha And then he asked the typical health questions. Asked if I’ve ever smoked pot, I told him no. He didn’t seem to believe me, he asked in another way, so when was the last time you smoked pot. When I told him I haven’t ever he decided a horror story would get what he thought to be the truth out of me! Something about how the hallucinogens in the stuff they were giving me would be affected by how much pot I’ve had. When I told him the only time I’ve ever been exposed to pot was being hot boxed in the nosebleed seats at a concert I think he finally believed me. He was a great doctor.
I don’t remember having to count to three. I just remember him walking away and hearing them setup around me, but nothing more until mid-surgery. I woke up slightly and felt him working on my lower right jaw. I moaned a couple of times and then I heard him say, up her 5 more cc’s and that’s the last thing I remember till they told me it was time to wake up.
I walked to another room and my mom came in. They told me then I couldn’t go back to sleep till the evening, which really sucked because that’s all I wanted to do. My mom pulled the car around back and I got in. I hated the feeling of driving. I’ve never been one to get motion sickness but I did… All the turns and bumps made me want to puke. I actually had to have my mom pull over once so I could. We got to her place and I knew I needed drugs asap so I had a couple bites of yogurt so I could take the meds, but that didn’t stay down so I just took the meds on an empty stomach. The nausea went away after that and I stuck to the rules of icepacks 5 min on one side and then 5 min on the other.
Today I STILL have chipmunk cheeks! Who knows what would have happened if I didn’t use ice! I hated the taste of blood. And my tongue was numb and still is! I asked if this was a normal side effect because I didn’t read anything in the post-op side effects but they said I could feel numbness in my tongue for up to a month! That sucks!
*end of post written Saturday June 30th*Turns out they disrupted (the word they used) a nerve on the bottom right side and it affected the feeling in my tongue. So now they say that the numbness can last from 2 weeks to 6 months depending on how "disrupted" the nerve was in the process of extracting the tooth. So it sucks... I can't stand not being able to feel the whole right side of my tongue. I've bitten it so many times its all red. I'm just hoping the healing will be closer to 2 weeks then the 6 months! (haha ya think!?) But I had my post op appointment and they said everything is healing fine. I can't stand the bad breath but of course they say that’s to be expected as I have a wound in my mouth... (Yeah 4 to be exact, still doesn't make stinky breath ok) I've been chewing gum but like I said, I've bitten into my tongue so much I chew gum as carefully as possible these days.
Well I'm off to go hang out with my friends David and Erin. I'll post a blog about the 4th of July and show some of the cool shots I captured with the slow shutter and the sparklers. :D
Labels: Dentist, Fiji, Inspiration, Rambling, Travel
posted by Charity at 7/06/2007 06:07:00 PM 
