I'm house sitting in Rancho Cucamonga for my friends Doug and Sasha. I'm sitting at Doug's computer upstairs unsure if I'm in the mood to actually blog or not. In roughly 12 hours I will have officially been on this earth 30 years (don't get technical on me peoples!). Today is the last day being in my 20's. (insert side tangent) And oddly enough I will be in the same town my parents lived in when I was born! I always thought I was born in Rancho but I found out when I got my passport (needed a birth certificate) that I was technically born in Upland, but my parents lived in Rancho so they always told me that's where we were when I was born. hehe Either way when I wake up tomorrow I'll be in Rancho on my birthday 30 years later! Kinda trippy...(/end side tangent)
As I celebrated my birthday with my family today it hit me where I was a year ago and it was not in a good place. I was pretty depressed about a lot of things. Mostly the loss of my relationship with Sam in August which (at the time) I was uncertain we'd ever talk again. Thankfully we are still friends and talk/chat at least once a week which is more then I would have expected under the circumstances. Jesse had passed away that May and that was the most difficult death I had to face in my life so far. I had lost my job at linkLINE in July and had yet to find a new job and had gone through a lot of interviews only to be told I wasn't picked for this reason or that, and each one felt like a whole new rejection. To be honest, I was pretty self focused and miserable. Jason was there to encourage me to get past my beliefs and the feelings that held me back from growing though it all. He was my counselor and friend and well it always helped that he was so darn cute! ;) hehe Sometimes I wondered if my infatuation made it possible to hear all the harsh things I needed to hear.
Man... so much in so little time. It's amazing to look back! Especially when all the inner reflection and changes, though difficult, really brought me to a better place. God knew what He was doing... Who knew? ;) haha I guess I needed to go through it all to be prepared to hear and realize things about myself that weren't easy to face. Life changing. One year, so much happened in 1 year! Actually it was more like 6 months! I keep changing but from September through March was the biggest portion of my transformation. Things that held me back, even from childhood... Faced... Accepted... And let go!
Yes, turning 30 tomorrow is a new leaf. I want to say a new chapter but honestly I feel like it's a new series in the miniseries of my life. I have nothing but excitement in my heart about my 30's. Heidi pointed out that she hated turning 30 because the people in their 40's still consider you too young to know anything and the people in their 20's think you're old. I'm not sure if I agree. Though I have felt a little bit of a challenge having friends in their 40's. They do seem to bring up my age quite a bit. It doesn't help that I look like I'm in my early 20's. I still giggle like a schoolgirl, especially if I'm flirting or crushing. haha Well I guess we'll see.
My brother Brian is going to take me to lunch tomorrow afternoon for my birthday. :) That'll be cool. We'll be going to see Bright Eyes at the end of this month for my birthday present to him as well as for myself. My parents gave me money for my birthday and I plan on buying a couple pieces for my camera. My dad made me one of his awesome cards, he even put a picture I took from Fiji as the cover. It's such a sweet card. He seriously needs to sell them! My sister did my hair as her birthday present to me! It needed it sooo bad. Here's a picture of it. It's hard to see the length but it's a bit more layered and more blond. I like it.
Rachel, Andie and Heidi are taking me out this Saturday. I've mentioned it before and it's a surprise. I still have no clue what we're doing. I just know that they are going to pick me up around 8 or 9 Saturday morning, I'm supposed to dress cute/casual and shouldn't expect to be home till at least midnight! I'm excited. I enjoy keeping myself in the dark. My mom almost let it slip but I didn't push it. I've played a couple games to get more information only to be more confused then ever! hehe So I'm letting it be and waiting patiently to find out Saturday what we're going to be up to.
Well I think that's it for tonight. Happy birthday to Jimi and Doug who both share my birthday! It's so odd that tomorrow I won't have a commute! I can leave for work at 8:40 and still make it before 9! I have more to update but I think I'll leave this as a birthday post.
Goodnight
Labels: Birthday, Inspiration, Rambling
posted by Charity at 9/03/2007 10:30:00 PM 
