Night & Day – Night - So yesterday was a miserable day. Yesterday I felt like the world and everyone in it was against me. Oh believe me I was that melodramatic! I was extremely insecure. I was angry and frustrated. Almost everything pushed me over the edge. I knew something was wrong first thing in the morning and even prayed that God would protect me from flying off the handle at innocent bystanders. I just had my hair done by my sister and I was still learning how to style it, as well as getting used to the fact that it’s so dark, and it just wasn’t working for me that morning. I was feeling unattractive all around. I got to work and was really sick, literally! To the point that I was weak and had to sit because I was dizzy, lightheaded and sweating! Yeah not sure what was going on. I was cautious all morning and my stomach started to settle down after I ate a bagel. My day at work actually went smoothly. No major issues. It was on my ride home. I was talking to a friend. I’m sure she didn’t mean to, but something she said cut deep, it fed all the insecurities I’d been fighting all day and I lost it, not on the phone with her, but after. The flood of emotions I had been fighting came boiling over. Frustrations with her, a couple guys (one that I’ve known for years, another that I’ve just recently gotten to know) and my own annoying tendencies came crashing in on me. No matter where I tried to run my mind was whirling through all the events, and with my outlook I was only seeing the worst in each situation.
It was when I was talking to another friend that I finally broke down emotionally and started sharing how insecure and pathetic I felt and realized I needed some quiet time with God. The moment I sat down to write in my prayer journal the tears flowed. They kept flowing on and off for the next half an hour. I felt like I was wrapped up in His arms and He was allowing me to express the fears and frustrations while He listened and comforted me. I couldn’t wait to go to bed and start a new day.
Day - Today has been quite the opposite! I woke up and my hair turned out great. I love it! I wore an outfit I wasn’t too sure I’d feel good in but ended up feeling sexy. I was no longer sick to my stomach. I went into training for the account department and came back to find a package on my desk from a merchant I work with on almost a daily basis. As soon as I felt the package I knew she had sent me chocolates! And sure enough she sent me See’s chocolates and a “Thank You” card to show her appreciation of how friendly and helpful I’ve been to her whenever she calls in. She has my direct line memorized. Hehe I felt very special! On my lunch break I took a walk around the complex and it was just a beautiful day so I stopped to eat my lean pocket on the grass under the trees. When I walked back I saw a truck slow up and roll down his window, I get asked for directions a lot when on my walks, but he just nodded and smiled. I smiled back and kept walking. He ended up coming back around and said something and I couldn’t understand and he said “If I followed you home, would you keep me?” haha I was in so much shock that he was hitting on me that I just laughed and said sorry probably not! He was a good looking guy too! He made small talk and then the moment was gone. But it left a huge smile on my face, a spring in my step and a disbelief that it had actually happened. I went up to the conference room and read my book for a few minutes, and then took my audio file and took a 15 min nap. I woke up completely refreshed and the rest of my day has been incredibly smooth!
The one mark against today is that Mike’s father passed away. Yesterday he told me how bad his dad was doing and I felt I should ask if I could pray for him but I didn’t know how he would take it and I didn’t know what to pray since I know none of his family are believers so I held back. I wanted to bring up prayer throughout the day but I never felt comfortable enough. I came into work today determined to ask if I could pray for him and I didn’t see his car and knew immediately that something was wrong. He’s taking the next few days off and I really wish I knew what I could do to help. He and his family were already in my prayers this morning and I will continue to pray for them. I want to call and give my condolences but I know right now he probably has so much going on. I’m just not sure what to do.
Well I have more to write about but not much time to do it. I'm gonna finish this post where it is and either write another one later tonight if I can find the time or just do it tomorrow.
Labels: Inspiration, Rambling
posted by Charity at 11/07/2007 05:54:00 PM 
