Written 6/10/08
Well I’ve had the stomach flu for the last few days. It was miserable! I’m rarely sick and this was an unusual sick for me. Either way I spent most of the day Monday in bed praying that the pain and nausea would go away. Today my stomach was cramping most of the day. I went to the doctors and they said it was the stomach flu and there really wasn’t anything they could prescribe and that I just had to let it run its course. So here I am, doing better then the last couple of days but still a bit queasy.
Anyways, I’m curious. Recently I’ve become aware that I care about certain people’s view of me more then others. I’m wondering how or what is it about these certain individuals that make me care so much? Why do they get placed on that pedestal? I know I’m a people pleaser through and through but this is different. This is an unhealthy need to feel accepted by these particular individuals. I am more sensitive to what they say to me, or how they talk about me. I have this one friend in particular who I‘m very sensitive with. I even thought to be honest with him and share how he makes me feel. Then something Jason (someone I placed on that pedestal for a time) said to me a few months back hit hard. He told me no one can *make* me feel anything. I choose to feel it. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have a choice… I need their approval. So why is it that the choice is given so freely to certain individuals? Why them? Why do I place such high value on what they think of me? It causes me not to be myself, to doubt. Yet I have so many other people out there that do value me, just as I am. They accept me, flaws and all.
Written 6/20
It's FRIGGIN hot!!!! I went out for my usual Friday Wahoo's lunch with Mike and literally felt like I hit a wall of heat! I checked just a moment ago and it was 107 degrees! Dang it! That's hot!
Anyways, aside from complaining about the heat my day has been pretty good! I'm thankful it's Friday.
Written 6/24
So I had hoped to have some pictures to post with this but alas it looks like that will again have to wait... Soon… I hope.
Labels: Rambling, Random
posted by Charity at 6/24/2008 09:00:00 PM 
