These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Last night I finally went out for my AAP Certification Celebration. :) I had a blast! Of course, who wouldn't when the entire night is centered around their accomplishment! haha! Honestly I just figured it was a good excuse to go out with coworkers and enjoy them outside of the office. :) It was pretty awesome, but more about the night later.
On a fairly personal note, this week I went through a little patch of discouragement. Feeling farther from God then I've been in a long time, I felt like I was falling away and even worse, didn't care to fight to get back on track. I shared this with my mom, who was supportive and awesome as usual. It was tough.
I realize lately that my better friends aren't very good examples of what a Christ-like walk is, and the friends that are good examples I've pulled away from, tired of their seeming self-righteous judgments. Now, looking back, part of me wonders if they were self-righteous at all or was it just my own personal guilt that made me feel judged. I'm not sure.
I have a lot of non-Christian friends. Lately they have been the friends I lean on most. With that though, their perspectives are quite different then mine. Usually their views and beliefs don't impact me. But in a way, I felt like my perspective about right and wrong was being tainted (for lack of a better word).
But that being said, it was a non-Christian friend that helped me snap out of this desire to turn away from trying to walk the Christ-like walk. It was a simple statement which I'm not going to share but it changed my perspective from despair to encouragement. I had mentioned my lack of interest in doing what was right and wishing I could be fully selfish and live my own life following after things that aren't centered around God but around my desires. He stated more then asked the question of allowing myself to be influenced by my non-Christian friends. I have to admit that yes, sometimes I do let my friends influence me more then they should.
It wasn't until later on in the day that I noticed our chat had impacted my view of the situation. I no longer felt that the decision to turn around was so far off. And in fact, I think the decision was made as soon as we had the chat.
The thing is, I'm not perfect, I can't expect perfection. Yes, striving for perfection is all God asks of us. So, I'm striving. I will stumble. I will stop. I will sit down. I will wander. But I will always go back. Why? Because there is no question of what I believe. I love the Lord with all my heart. I want HIS will for my life, not my own.
Once the decision was made, I didn't feel like there was so much pressure to do the right thing. Interesting huh? Like I was so worried that my choices were impacting my very future that I was feeling overwhelmed and didn't want to have to make decisions. When I realized that no matter what, God would work things out for the good of those that love Him, then even if I stumble, stop, sit down, or wander it would always be worked out. Sure there may be consequences.
This song "The Worst Things Beautiful" by OURS just came on and it's quite fitting for this part of my post.
So I'll wake every moment, wake with the sun Were the worst things always the first things to come? Find a way to move on and a way to be strong Cause somethings do change, well somethings come and Made the worsts things beautiful
Wait... till the morning comes around Wait... for something beautiful Wait ...see if worry turns around Wait....please wait
So sometimes the worst things can be made into beautiful things. Enough venting... I think that's it for this post. :)
Hi, Charity, thanks for the comforting words as I'm sick! I just wanted to comment about one of your comments that God "wants us to strive for perfection." I'm not sure that's the case. I've been meditating a lot on what we as Christians are supposed to be "doing" and I feel that "staying attached to the VINE" is our only task. We can't avoid bearing fruit or becoming more holy if we do that. Of course that's not always easy--but it's just a matter of prioritizing our time to make sure HE is in it regularly and our focus is on HIM not ourselves. I think we sometimes spend too much time trying to clean up our own act, and I don't think that's our true task. We can become pretty discouraged that way. But if our whole focus is "how can I get closer to HIM more of the time?" the rest will take care of itself. Just my own "take" on your comments. You're not alone in your struggles--a young friend of mine came back from Bible School in California and is at the University grappling with her priorities as well. The World has a powerful attraction, but it's shown it's "true colors" lately!
# posted by Dian NOrby : January 11, 2009 at 8:45 PM
