I have been doing A LOT of thinking about my life. It's almost as though God has opened my eyes to a glimpse of where my life is and where it's heading to and it has brought up a DEFINITE amount of re-evaluating. Things that I thought I was ok with in my life I am now questioning. It's like I realize a new chapter in my life is beginning. I'm a little nervous but excited at the same time, but am very ready for the change.
One surprising twist of thought is lately I've been thinking a lot about studying the bible. Not just reading it but getting into the nitty-gritty and just going for it! The idea is intriguing to me and I'm not sure why. I just started a bible college class this last Wednesday but my feelings have changed before then. I have thought since then that maybe I would like to actually go to a bible college and get a degree. This seems so different than my usual thoughts on the subject that I feel it’s genuinely a call from God.
I also know someday I will be able to quit linkLINE and work for my brother full time. Though I wish that could happen tomorrow something tells me it will be a while, but possibly in the next year.
Friday I went to Magic Mountain for their Hallelujah Jubilee and I miss the concerts. I don't want to be a groupie or anything. I just want to enjoy the live shows and as many of them as possible.
I realize that my involvement in the youth may change as well. I still feel strongly about being involved in the teens lives and being their support, a listening ear and someone to offer godly advise without being a hypocrite! I also still feel strongly about working/volunteering at a youth center.
I know for me to do this my schedule would have to change dramatically. But if I started working for my brother I could go back to school no problem. I still have to pay off debt so I am steadily getting there. In mid-November I will have my car paid off which will be a great relief and I’ll take that money each month to pay off my credit card debt in hopefully a year.
A lot of my friends are married and having babies. People ask why I’m not married or having kids yet. Of course 27 years old is not old but I’m not getting any younger. I’d like to get married and start a family, though right now the prospect of getting married just doesn’t seem to be happening. I want to marry a man that is wholly serving God heart, soul and mind. I wish so desperately that God would help that man or that I would find the one that will help me put God first above all others. That I could communicate my thoughts and views and he would share deeply with me as well. I don’t want to have to dig for answers for his thoughts. I pray that whether or not that man is in my life that God would prepare his heart.
I just visualize myself in a completely different world in about a year. I want solitude. I want to be alone. I want to search out and experience new adventures and get back into old ones. I know that sounds like a contradiction from the paragraph before but I would rather be alone and seek out new things and learn and then come together with someone in the end of this chapter and live happily ever after. Hehe But God knows the time and place for everything and it seems that he is preparing my heart for a new chapter. I’ve only scanned through a couple sentences and haven’t been able to make out the basis of the chapter … Yet. But I will.
Well I’m tired and going to crash. Sleep Well - “Sleep well and must I to kill you in the morning” The Princess Bride.
Goodnight.
CD/DVD Player: nothing - my niece Megan is sleeping next to my bed... Shhhh!
Mood: Definitely deep in thought
Link of the Day:
Concept Art - go to the forums, they have awesome daily or timed challenges.
posted by Charity at 9/25/2004 08:47:00 PM 
