Ya know, I have to admit I've missed writing on my blog. I know there are some that just don't quite get how it feels to journal, and whether or not people read it's a release for me.
I came back from North Carolina with a huge load of crap landed in my lap. I haven't felt that frustrated about things in a long time! I came home to knowing that we have to move out of our house. Yup... It's official, January 15th. So not knowing what I should or can be doing is a bit frustrating. My parents want me to continue to live with them and well as much as I love them I want to move out on my own. But I know they could use my help. So right now it's kind of up in the air about what we're going to do or where we're going to live. My dad can't really get a loan because he doesn't have proof of income being that the church pays him what they can when they can. So I sometimes wonder if maybe I should try for a loan. I just paid off my car yet I feel my credit is so bad no one would approve me. But I figure what's the harm? I get to apply for a loan to help my parents out and get my credit score all in the same time. The worst that could happen is that they pre-approve me for a TINY loan and then we'll know that's not the route we can take. So we shall see. I am feeling rather skeptical about being given a loan large enough to buy a home, but I don't want to not try to do something to help.
Work was hectic my week back. I had a lot of catch-up to do. Also I was supposed to start today working 4 hours a day in the sales and 4 in billing. The deposits thankfully have been taken off my shoulders and that is the most time consuming task I have in billing. So when I got into work this morning I was mentally prepared to take sales calls but had no clue how to log into the sales queue or what to do. So today was not a good example of what an average day would be like for me. I'm hoping that they will have my login ready in the next couple days. In the meantime I will just go where I'm needed.
I just feel like my life is in upheaval right now. Everything is so uncertain. I have my moments when I feel scared, then excited, then frustrated, or in denial... I feel tired right now. It hasn't overcome me but I feel like it's all a blur. I have more that I've dealt with that I just don't know how to share.
I have been working on my North Carolina pictures. I'm not sure when they will be posted. I hope soon though. I went to see Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and must admit that the 1st one hit more to home then the 2nd. The 1st was about a girl who wrote in her diary for everything, she also had a choice between two men, one right for her and another that was not right for her. I had both situations in my life at the time. She struggled with being heavy and insecure. I think it hit home for me. The 2nd was very good too, but she rarely wrote in her diary, and it was basically dealing with relationship issues. Colin Firth was still gorgeous. Hugh Grant was a hottie too. But I think because I liked the first one so much, the 2nd just didn't meet up to the 1st for me. But I will still own it when it comes out on DVD. :) hehe
well this has been in my drafts for a couple days now. I'm gonna go ahead and post it. I have yet to complete the pictures of North Carolina. But I will try again tonight.
Bye
CD/DVD Player: Air1 radio - online
Mood: so-so
Link of the Day:
Cool Car Transformer - Another one of Sam's cool links
posted by Charity at 11/15/2004 07:54:00 PM 
