Thursday, December 29, 2005
**Update**Sam just called to tell me that he is about 20 miles away from Wausau Wisconsin! He's about an 1 1/2 away from his new home! The cats are holding up and sleeping but it just got dark so he's concerned they will start howling soon. It sucks when Sam said I'll be home the next time I call I hated the sound of it... It's not home... not yet anyways... but I guess he has to get used to it. :( (click on the image to see larger view) 
posted by Charity at 12/29/2005 02:58:00 PM
**Update**Sam just called again... He's just passing Minneapolis, Minnesota and according to Google still has about 4 1/2 more hours to go. I have been chatting with Marc out in Rhinelander and he's got Sam's new place all ready for him. He shoveled the snow out of the driveway and got the place ready for Sam's late arrival tonight. (click on the image to see larger view)  ***NEWER Update***Sam crossed the border and is in Wisconsin! Somewhere that Google doesn't recognize... St. Croix, Wisconsin. Either way he's on the 94 and going strong. The cats are hangin in there.
posted by Charity at 12/29/2005 12:45:00 PM
So Sam just made it through the border of Minnesota. See image below. Yesterdays journey was from Laramie, Wyoming to Omaha, Nebraska like he had hoped. The cats have been less cooperative today and sadly it's the longer final leg of the trip. (click on the image to see larger view)  I'm not doing so hot today. I'm very emotional and edgy. I had a rough night last night with my sister and her husband... He's insane from what I can tell. I just can't believe how horrible he's treating my sister. It just makes me sad. So there was more drama last night and I tried to help out in any way that I could. I slept in this morning, got to work late, and have already been moody with a few people ... including Sam... Which I apologize for. It's getting harder as I realize he's not just a parking lot away. Yes, he's a call away. And he's called A LOT! I know he's sad. And that's hard too. It's just a rough day for me. It started out rough and I'm just struggling to be ok with things. Ugh... I wish I could just get out of this funk!
posted by Charity at 12/29/2005 10:59:00 AM
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
**Update**Sam is in Alda, Nebraska. He doesn't expect to make it past Omaha tonight.
posted by Charity at 12/28/2005 01:43:00 PM
**Update**Sam is in Paxton Nebraska. He's hoping to make it to Omaha, but I am encouraging him to try to get to Des Moines Iowa just because his last day being the longest leg might be hard to take. He's going to wait and see how the cats are holding up. We think Zoey has issues when it's dark. So we'll see. Here is a picture of his current goal. (click on the image to see larger view) 
posted by Charity at 12/28/2005 11:29:00 AM
So Google Maps Rocks! I just got done walking Sam through how to get to Barnes & Noble in Cheyenne, Wyoming from the freeway and gave him a heads up on how to get back on the road. (click on the image to see larger view)  It was interesting to tell him the road should wind around to the north or left as he was driving and suddenly a moment later he said sure enough the road is winding north. :) Or he said it looks like I'm passing batting cages and I said oh that's Converse Softball Complex keep going north. hehe It was great! :-D I definitely love Google maps! Anyways, yesterdays (12/27/05) journey took him from Beaver, Utah to Laramie, Wyoming. (click on the image to see larger view)  Well I gotta get back to work.
posted by Charity at 12/28/2005 09:15:00 AM
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
**Update** Sam is about 55 miles away from Laramie, WY. He said the roads are bad and he's not feeling so good. So he's going to stop in Laramie for the night. It's only 50 miles away from his goal so hopefully it doesn't put him back too far for tomorrow's schedule. If you think of him say a prayer. He's only half way to his final destination and not feeling good. The winds are high and he has poor cell reception. He said he'd call to confirm he made it to Laramie safely.
posted by Charity at 12/27/2005 05:26:00 PM
So I did this for my other friends, Marc and Jess, that moved out to Rhinelander Wisconsin. Sam has been on the phone with me here and there throughout the day and with the help of google maps I've helped him find certain things along the way. At this moment Sam is on the below stretch of road. (click on the image to see larger view)  He is hoping to make it to Cheyenne Wyoming by tonight but the weather threatens to stop that from happening. It's been fun following him along the way. Getting visuals of where he's at. I'm not sure if I'll be privileged with it the entire trip but for today its been fun. The first day (12/26/05) of sam's journey was from Riverside, CA. to Beaver, UT. (click on the image to see larger view)  Zoey started to make things miserable for him so he stopped earlier then expected. I will try to post day by day of the trip. Unless Sam request that I don't... Too bad he wasn't able to send pictures from his phone or I'd include the pictures like I did for Marc and Jess's trip out last year. hehe Well as much as I don't want to... I should get back to work. I guess because of the holidays and it being a short week it's hard to focus on the job in front of me when there is so much more I'd rather be doing. hehe I'll update when I can. P.S. Just got a call from Sam... He's heading into a mountain range and doesn't expect to have much reception there. So far the roads are clear but he's on mile 119 or something ;) and the clouds are dark ahead.
posted by Charity at 12/27/2005 04:05:00 PM
Monday, December 26, 2005
Sam just left my house in his packed truck... We were both blubbering and trying to just know that we really are only a phone call away... My eyes hurt from all the crying. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel. It's been coming for so long I thought I was numb and would be numb until a day or so later. But nope... After helping him pack up his truck early this morning I went home, showered and he was heading up from saying his goodbyes to David and Tony. As soon as I saw him I was crying. I guess I realized this was it... He was leaving California. I am tearing up right now... Choking back tears. I love him. I'm going to miss him. We have already made plans to get me out there in the next couple months if not sooner. I so desperately want him to be here but I know this is something he needs to do. I just hope that the distance doesn't tear us apart. Right now it seems impossible. I think I'm going to go watch a movie and try to get my mind off of things.
posted by Charity at 12/26/2005 10:05:00 AM
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
I'm not feeling so hot. I'm moody. My stomach is upset and I have a headache. I guess the stress of Christmas and Sam moving might be getting to me. Maybe it’s the holiday blues? I don't think that could be it because I usually love Christmas! I'm sad about Sam moving. We aren't getting as much time to hang out together as we would like and new developments are always coming up because everyone wants their time with Sam before he moves. Understandable but it’s still frustrating. I’m going to miss him. I can’t believe he’s leaving in less then a week.
posted by Charity at 12/21/2005 11:15:00 AM
Thursday, December 15, 2005
 My friend Rachel sent me the link above. I think it's a great way to help motivate during weight loss. Starting in January I am going to start taking my weight loss seriously. It's been insanely busy because of the holidays but I've at least started to cut back on some stuff. My goal is to put more energy into working out. With my schedule, working, spending every spare moment I have with Sam, or shopping for Christmas presents working out will have to wait till after the new year. The new girl at work has a lot in common with me and we're helping to motivate eachother to work towards losing weight. We're adding something new every week. I am excited for what lies ahead. I think the reality of Sam moving is finally setting in. :( It's a bit overwhelming. I sometimes wish he'd decided to stay or only be gone for a few months. But I'm afraid that once he gets out there he will be there for a long time. Who knows? Well that's enough of that... So today at noon we're closing up our office and driving to Riverside to Adam's Kart Track and will spend the remainder of our day having a blast racing go-karts! It was decided to be done for our office Christmas Party... Should be a blast! :-D I can't wait... I guess I should get back to work.
posted by Charity at 12/15/2005 10:14:00 AM
Thursday, December 8, 2005
Oops, this was typed December 6, 2005 at 8:04pm I'm listening to U2 - Actung Baby "One" I have been in the mood to reflect. I have spent more time reading old entries then writing new ones. It's been a while since I've been inspired to write. This blog has become more of an events blow by blow then of my own personal thoughts on life and everything that goes along with it. I think partially because I'm afraid of what people my think or say about what it is I'm feeling. I know I've come to this conclusion before but I really miss the ability to feel truly free to open up... So again... I will try. Life has been challenging me to face a lot of issues... I am realizing that I've exposed myself. I am now very vulnerable without hope of any answers until after the new year.
posted by Charity at 12/08/2005 03:35:00 PM
Thursday, December 1, 2005
Typed November 27th, 2005 12:30pm So we're back on the road. My brother is nice enough to let me use his laptop again. We just left Bozeman, Montana. The snow made a bit of a delay in our travels this morning. Right now the roads are clearer so we're back on track. It's been a whirlwind weekend! A lots of things have happened in the last few days. It's been a definite adventure. My Grandma - My grandma broke her hip a couple days before our arrival. She went through surgery but had to go to an old folks home for physical therapy to help her work her hip. She was not going to be able to be home for Thanksgiving or the wedding, which was a disappointment for the whole family. Then the day we were to arrive, Thanksgiving Day, we were told she had taken a turn for the worse. She had really bad tremors and her blood was extremely thin because of the medication she was already on for other issues she was dealing with. They were concerned that if she hit herself at all that she would bleed to death because they wouldn't be able to stop the bleeding. So she was taken to the emergency room. The next morning we weren’t given good news. She took a turn for the worse. She was placed in ICU. Her tremors were so bad and her blood levels (?) were even lower. And it turned out that she had Pneumonia on top of everything else. They were concerned she had bleeding in the brain or meningitis. They had to partially paralyze her to calm her tremors down and intubated (?sp) and strapped her arms down. It was pretty scary. They ran a catscan and found no bleeding in the brain which was good. She apparently had an infection which was causing the tremors and so they pumped her body full of antibiotics. The Pneumonia was because they hadn't noticed the fluid in her lungs when she came out of her original surgery. They took her off the breathing machine and they got her blood levels up. The last few days were pretty intense emotions over the condition of my grandma. We went to see her yesterday and today. Yesterday she was still in ICU but luckily this morning on our way out of town we stopped by the hospital again and she's out of ICU and looked sooo much better. It made it easier to leave knowing she was healing so well. She looked healthy and alert. The way I remember her looking two years ago when I last visited. My cousin Kerri’s wedding – The wedding was last night at 4:00pm. We had decorated the day before. With all the concern over grandma we didn’t have my Aunt Darlene around for guidance so we decorated blindly. Luckily my cousin Joey was there to lead us and she had enough understanding of her moms ideas that when my Aunt Darlene showed up she was impressed with where we had gotten in the decorations. That night we went out to the local bar, The Bear Trap. It was the location for the rehearsal dinner but as soon as that was done we started into the fun. They had karaoke. It was a lot of fun! We had a great time talking, laughing, drinking, singing karaoke and dancing (on the bar! Don’t worry, I got pictures hehe). I enjoyed watching people making fools of themselves. hehe My cousins got smashed! I got tired of the smoke and decided I wanted to go home at around midnight. My Aunt came to pick me up and my brother and sister joined me but my cousins stayed to close up the bar! Hehe So the next morning my brother, sister and her kids decided to go out and see my grandma at the hospital. After that we decided to get some food and that took a lot longer then we had expected and so by the time we got back to our motel we had just enough time to get ready for the wedding! We got there a few minutes late! And I was stuck taking video of the ceremony. Afterwards it seemed to go rather quickly and I spent most of my time hanging out with my nieces and nephews and my cousins Clint and Joey.
posted by Charity at 12/01/2005 02:01:00 PM
Thursday, November 24, 2005
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I'm on my brothers laptop on the N 15 Exit 343 near Salt Lake City Utah. We spent the night at a hotel in Salt Lake City. And I'm sooo thankful for the night to sleep stretched out. We're getting a late start but we're listening to Christmas music at the demand er... request of my sister. hehe So far we've had a pretty fun trip. I'm pretty happy that we didn't attempt to drive straight through. But most of my thanksgiving day will be on the road. Well I should let the laptop charge. I'll post more I'm sure. If my brother will be nice enough to let me use his laptop. hehe Bye!
posted by Charity at 11/24/2005 09:55:00 AM
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Depeche Mode was a blast! ABSOLUTE BLAST! Pictures will come. Sadly only before the show. The tickets said no cameras so I didn't even chance sneaking it in... But it was openly accepted when we got inside. Sam took some video with his camera phone so I might have those links to post. ABSOLUTE BLAST! A definately needed night out with great friends and good times! David Gahan was hot! The show was fantastic! The set list was incredible! They played "Somebody"!!!! I was totally happy! It was just great to let loose! A night to remember! I'm soo happy the people closest to me were there to share it with! More hopefully later tonight...
posted by Charity at 11/22/2005 11:39:00 AM
Sunday, November 13, 2005
So I'm very content right now. In fact I'm more then content, I'm ecstatic! I just got done shopping with Michelle, Rachel and my mom at Lane Bryant. They had a great sale for 40% off (employee discount) of anything in the store for yesterday and today. So I was interested in going to see what they had. And to my amazement I found a TON of stuff. With how much weight I've gained I usually hate shopping for clothes. But I found an outfit for my cousins wedding next weekend, a denim jacket, brown slacks, and a cream camisole to go under a brown lacy silky tank. It'll be a cute outfit. :) I also bought two sweaters, a blue and a black one in the same style. :) I love em both. I walked out only spending $100.00 and for Lane Bryant that's unheard of! Rachel was so sweet she got through the line before me and bought my two sweaters!!! :-D Anyways, I was thrilled with my purchases. It's been a while since I've loved so much in one shopping trip. Anyways, I've had a nice weekend. Friday night I hung out at Sam's watching Star Wars Episode III and played on the computer for a while. Sam wasn't there. He and his brother and Ludek drove up to Buttonwillow to drive their cars on a track, not exactly racing but teaching more about their cars or something. hehe So I took his keys and used his place so I could avoid Vegas traffic. I got home around midnight and went straight to bed. I got up Saturday fairly early, and got ready and made my way into work. I got there around 9:30am and worked through to 2:00pm when I had to head out to Pasadena to meet my family for lunch/dinner. My brother Shawn and my sister-in-law Brenda were on a 10 hour layover from LAX coming back home from their trip to Fiji (yeah... I know... must be rough! ;) hehe) so my brother Brian drove down to pick them up and we all decided Pasadena was middle ground. My parents and sister drove down from the desert. And if you can believe it, with traffic and all we all made it there within minutes of each other. So we were going out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory in Old Town Pasadena. I had been there a couple times during my visits with my friend Russ... So I felt more schooled in getting around. For my family it was pretty up there in confusion have the diagonal crosswalks and all. ;) But we made it work. I paid 5.00 for an easy parking spot. My parents found a parking garage. Brian was somewhere in the opposite direction. When we said our goodbyes it was rather funny to see us all go our separate ways, literally. Anyways, back to our dinner... Shawn had to go out to Fiji for a business trip and decided to take Brenda and have a romantic time with her too. The trip was successful for the business end, and as well for the romantic end. I was shown the pictures and it looked like Brenda was having the time of her life. They were treated to high class treatment the whole time. They had pictures of the island that Castaway was filmed on. *Side Note: Apparently the island is deserted because it's considered to be haunted. I think I'd like to look into the production of Castaway and see if they had any weird incidents happen during the making of the film. So we had a nice dinner as a family. The food was excellent and the service was awesome! Our waiter was too funny and made the evening all that much more enjoyable. It was great to see Shawn and Brenda. It's strange how when you're family it doesn't seem like you've been thousands of miles away when you meet. It was a great time. They brought me a necklace back from Fiji and I love it!  After dinner Brian realized they had to head out. I ended up taking Heidi back with me. I was glad I did so I could get into the carpool lane. On our way home I got a call from Sam who was driving back from Buttonwillow. He was exhausted but had the time of his life. He said it was the most fun he's had in a LONG time. I was glad for him. It will be a good memory for him of time with his brother and Ludek for when he moves to Wisconsin in less then two months. Sam was going to stop by on his way back through. When he got closer he realized he was dead tired and asked if he could spend the night. As soon as he got there his bed was made up and he got ready for bed and we talked about our days and what we did. I let him crash. The next morning I had him transfer to my bed so he didn't get interrupted with my parents walking through the living room while they got ready for church. So after I got ready he decided he probably needed to get up. He had a few calls about things he needed to do today. So as I left for church he headed down the hill. And after church I went to Lane Bryant. All-in-all it was a good weekend. I have all of last weekend to update about too. Hopefully I'll do that tomorrow night or something. I'll try to get the pictures done too so I can explain the weekend and have pictures as references. My mom wants to watch a movie so I think this will have to do for now.
posted by Charity at 11/13/2005 08:02:00 PM
Thursday, November 3, 2005
Today is going much better then yesterday. Yesterday I was driving to work and this happened to my glasses.  I drove to work thanking God that it was daylight. I can see the cars but not read the signs. But when you've made that trip every weekday for the last 2 3/4 years you kind of just know where things are at. Well I didn't need to read the sign that said "4th St Exit 1 mile", I already knew it was coming up. hehe I spent the morning staring 6 inches from my screen to see what it said. I finally had Sam help me change the resolution on my two monitors, I tried to do it but couldn't figure out why my two monitors wouldn't go lower in resolution without skewing the view too horribly to read. So I did what I could until the Frame Doctors opened up at 10am. I've used them before and they have done an excellent job soldering my frames before. Yes, I've had to use them before. I guess I'm rough on my frames. ;) But with Christmas coming up I can't really spend 165.00 on new frames just yet. Sam was nice enough to drive me to the place and get my glasses fixed. I get back to work and everything went to hell in a handbasket! Work was just not going right. I had issues with upper management all day. I eventually left the office at 6pm to go home, had a chat with Rachel for a bit, showered, read the final couple chapters of Magician's Nephew and then crashed! Tonight I'm going over to my sisters. She's having one of those jewelry parties. Also her DSL should be up and running today so I am going over to set that up for her. I have to be in bed EARLY because I have to wake up at 3am to get ready and meet Sam down at work so I can take him to the airport! Friday is going to be a LONG day. I haven't decided if I'm going to try to leave work early so I can get home to pack (I'm leaning towards that idea), or going to Sam's and taking a nap waiting for the Vegas traffic to die down. We'll sse how I feel I guess. Ok so updates: It's going to be a busy month! EVENTS IN NOVEMBER:Beach Terrace Inn - 11/5/05 to 11/6/05 - So this weekend I'm hangin with the ladies of the church. We're all driving down to Carlsbad for a couple nights at the Beach Terrace Inn. A family in the church stays at this place quite often and there's an annual Carlsbad Village Fair that they think we'll all enjoy. It'll be nice to get away for the weekend. I'm hoping to have time to journal and take pictures but this trip is all about building relationships, and well journaling and taking pictures is very singular I doubt I'll get away with it. hehe But I'm sure I'll have fun. Depeche Mode Concert - 11/21/05 - I'm absolutely excited about seeing Depeche Mode again! I've been listening to their new album "Playing the Angel" pretty much non-stop when I'm in my car. I bought tickets for Rachel, Heidi and Sam to go with me. They are all free to help out but I have no intention of making them pay for their tickets. Sam and I will be at work that day so Rachel and Heidi are going to drive down and meet us at the office and we'll make our way to the Staples Center for the show. YAY! Thanksgiving - 11/23/05 to 11/28/05 - My brother, sister, her two kids and myself are driving out to Montana during Thanksgiving weekend. My cousin is getting married that Saturday, my grandparents celebrate their own wedding anniversary that same weekend and well it's Thanksgiving. All good reasons why to make a 24 hour drive out to see them all. My neice and nephew haven't been out there since they were just wee little things. So that should be an adventure. We're planning on driving Wednesday night, through Thanksgiving day to arrive late thanksgiving night. We should be able to relax Friday and the wedding is Saturday at 7pm. My dad is going to marry them so my parents already had plans to fly out. Then Sunday we'll get back on the road back home. I took Monday off so we don't have to leave after the wedding. I'm actually kind of interested to see how it works out. Sam has said I can use his Nintendo DS and I'm actually going to buy a game called Trace Memory that looked really interesting. That's it so far. I'm hoping not to have to add anything else to my schedule. I'm sure I'll have pictures of each event. And they'll most likely be posted next year sometime. ;) hehe Well I'm going to enjoy the rest of my lunch break.
posted by Charity at 11/03/2005 12:43:00 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
I had a REALLY fun weekend! Friday night I went to see two movies with Sam. Serenity, which was a pretty good flick actually... I was rather impressed. I wasn't sure what to expect but I left glad that I went to see it. And we went to Wallace and Gromit... :) It was pretty cute. Saturday I woke up fairly early for a day off and waited to confirm meeting my friend Russ in Burbank to pick up some games. He never got back to me so I called. I was rushed to get down to his place then make my way to Perris, Ca. for the photoshoot I was doing for my friend Nancy. Friday, after work, I had noticed my tire was low rather quickly and I must have a slow leak. With all that driving Sam suggested that I get it fixed before I make the trips. I was already on a tight schedule but when I found out that American Tire would take an hour I decided to not go to Burbank but to fix the tire and reschedule the Burbank trip for Sunday... So I get my tire fixed, drove down to Perris, Ca. I went to Nancy's place and hung out chatting while she finished getting ready and we walked down to the City Hall and took pictures from about 4:30 to 6:00. The pictures turned out AWESOME! I can't wait to post them! She was happy with them and well she was an easy person to take pictures of... Naturally photogenic and model ready. She knew how to work for the camera. I had sooo much fun! It makes me want to be a full time photographer. So she and her hubby took me out to dinner for taking the pictures and then I made my way back up the hill. On my way home I stopped by Sam's for a quick visit. I wanted to show him the pictures and he had been having a rough night and I felt he needed a friendly face. As I drove home I noticed it started to sprinkle in spots but as I got further into the Cajon pass it got pretty scary! The rain was coming down so hard! But I made it home safely and at a decent hour. hehe Sunday I went to church, took my nephew with me shopping at Target and Longs, had dinner/lunch with the family and then made my way down with my sister to Burbank to pick up the games from my friend Russ. As I called him he had thought I cancelled for today as well and made other plans, as I was at hwy138. Luckily he reworked his arrangements and had us meet him at a BBQ he was at. We hung out for a couple hours and made our way back home. I went to bed fairly early. I woke up this morning to loud rolling thunder and rain! It was amazing! It was 5:30am and my alarm had gone off and I normally press snooze a few times but I was refreshed and awake so I just enjoyed the sounds and smells of rain! :) The weekend is already over! I can't believe it's already over. But it was a good weekend. I had a lot of fun. My sister and I are going next weekend to see a Dracula Ballet! :) I'm looking forward to it. It should be pretty interesting. It's down in Montclaire so it's not too far of a drive. Well I should get back to work.
posted by Charity at 10/17/2005 10:21:00 AM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I am having a VERY productive day at work! It feels great! But the first part of my day was quite the opposite. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and then my drive down to work with my dad seemed to be going ok but then suddenly as we pull into the parking lot something happened and I got offended by something he said. Most likely as he would say "taking it to personally" but even now that I'm in a good mood I still feel the way he said it was to make a cut so to speak and it did. But after a couple hours at work I decided to make it right and apologized for taking it personally if his intention wasn't to make a cut. So anyways, I just found out that my nephew, whom has come across as blaming my sister for the breakup of their marriage, has finally stood up for my sister in front of my brother-in-law!!! It made my heart so happy to hear that. I know it's been killing Heidi because she's constantly getting the coldness from Bailey. So for him to stick up for her was awesome! I was so happy for her. She spent Monday - Wednesday down at my brothers place in Oxnard and she said it was a great time to get away and relax. And tomorrow is Friday! PAYDAY FRIDAY! It can't get any better then this! Well ok... it can... But still things are going really well. I feel a freedom in the last couple days. With everything that's going on I appreciate the little things more. The beautiful sunrise, the opportunity to accomplish everything that's meant to be accomplished in a day and still have time to write a quick update in my blog. So tonight I don't have any plans. I may actually go through pictures of Sam's bday party and post them. What a concept. hehe Well I should get back to work for the little bit that I have left
posted by Charity at 10/13/2005 04:23:00 PM
Thursday, October 6, 2005
**Update**My sisters marriage - is over. This last weekend we found out that my sisters husband is still cheating on her with the same girl. He was caught at a restaurant by my best friend Rachel and her husband Tom who happen to be good friends with both Heidi and Jeff. This is it for Heidi. She plans on getting legal counsel, though Jeff threatened that he was going to file for divorce last monday. The kids found out Monday afternoon. Jeff came over and with both sets of grandparents there to be a support to the kids, Jeff told them that he no longer loved mommy and loved another woman instead and that he was going to leave. My dad who was witness to this said it was the most heart wrenching thing he's ever witnessed! He said it was the sound of hearts being torn out and ripped in half. It was so emotionally draining that he couldn't understand how Jeff could continue on the path he was taking knowing how he was hurting his children. :( Heidi has not been alone since this happened. Rachel and Tom spent the night Saturday night, Heidi and the kids spent the night at our house sunday night, she plans on spending the night with Jeff's mom (who even thinks her own son has lost it)... and so on... The whole thing is sick and saddening. I feel like this is all a dream and that there is no way a man I could respect turned into this! And I can only imagine how my sister feels! She told me the other morning she just feels like she's going to wake up from this horrible dream but it's not a dream. It's her reality. Jeff has lost all his sense. I am sickened by the whole situation. And as the week has progressed since this has happened I have found myself feeling more sorry for Jeff then anything. When he opens his eyes, *if* he ever opens his eyes, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes as he sees what he has done. That in itself could break him. I know God can do his work. I still have some hope that he will turn from his sin. But right now my life is devoted to my sister and those kids! Jeff needs to break and it isn't going to be a fun time for him. I do feel sorry for him. But I know God will never leave him and will continue to try and draw him back. The Place - So last Thursday at noon the church had no options. By 12:45 we had unlimited possibilities! It's amazing how God moves! Basically we have some property but don't have enough funds to build a church. We had hoped to sell the property or even trade it for rent at a location for a certain amount of time. Well no one was biting on those opportunities. The place we wanted isn't available until Dec 1. So we really weren't sure what to do. Turns out the guy we currently rent from called my dad saying that he was willing to work with us and whatever we do please don't move! So basically begged us to stay at our current location. He said he wouldn't make us pay double our current rent but would give us a deal, still higher then we are currently paying but reasonable. That was option 1. He said he would even trade the property for half cash (50,000) and we could rent where we're currently at for 2 years rent free and couldn't stress enough how they didn't want us to move! So that's option 2! Then the person we were trying to go through to sell our property called my dad 20 min later and said that he had two offers, one too low and another one he felt would give us what we're asking, which means we could sell the property, rent the current place till dec 1 then move to the larger location and with the money from the property pay for rent for 2 1/2 years. This location is larger and more pricey so it wouldn't last us as long. That was option 3. When our current landlords found out about our offer they said they were in no position to make a true offer that day but that we could stay there RENT FREE till they come up with an offer! Goodness! Talk about a miracle! My dad had just taken his lunch break and prayed soley that God would open the doors for us to find a place to have church. And within minutes the doors were WIDE open! The cool part about all this, is we're in a win,win,win situation. No matter what direction we make out with a good deal! hehe :-D So that's a HUGE weight lifted off our shoulders. Work - Well it's been overwhelming and I am starting to get a handle on things. But considering that I'm at work I should probably go for now. I will update more another time.
posted by Charity at 10/06/2005 11:25:00 AM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I can't believe how good it felt to write all that out on a blog. I haven't had time to journal, even in my own private journal. I know people don't always understand the release of writing, but it has always helped me. I've noticed since I wrote that, my attitude towards people has been less aggressive. I feel less weighed down somehow. I am genuinely happy. I also purchased 4 tickets to see Depeche Mode on November 21st, 2005! I'm totally excited! I've invited my best friends Sam and Rachel of course, and I figure my sister needs a night out so I'm taking her as well! I can't wait! I can't believe after all these years I still can't wait to see them again! :-D I had the presale ticket info and got on ticketmaster at 10am and had 4 tickets in hand but then let them go! STUPIDO! So I went back and got section 207 for the Staple Center. Not bad... Looking straight at the stage... WOOHOO! I'm sooo excited! Well there's more I'm sure but oh well. hehe that's it for now.
posted by Charity at 9/27/2005 09:02:00 PM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
I really don't know where to start. There has been so much emotional crap going on in my life that I've avoided posting. It’s hard to avoid saying things when it’s all you can think about. Well I've decided that I should be able to be honest, on my blog of all places. As much as I've had my own words used against me I cannot hold back from expressing my thoughts. My goodness… Even knowing I am going to be able to share everything, I fear doing so. My sisters marriage - First and foremost my brother-in-law, Jeff, had an affair on my sister, Heidi. It started in May 2005 and ended in late August 2005. We knew something was wrong in July 2005 but was told repeatedly by him that he was not having an affair. Then Heidi found proof in mid August that he could not deny and he finally admitted to our worst fears. Heidi has been strong in all of this. Willing to take him back and work towards restoration of their marriage, admitting that she has been in the wrong in some points and wanting to go to counseling. At this point (as of September 22nd, 2005) Jeff has told Heidi he doesn’t have it in him to continue with the marriage, he just doesn’t have the heart. They are separating. Whether divorce is going to happen or not, we’re not sure. As much as I have gone through the gamut of emotions, I really do want restoration of their marriage. It was devastating to find out that even though my sister was willing to take him back (which I don’t know if I could ever do), even though biblically she has every right to divorce and remarry, the fact that he doesn’t care enough to work on the marriage is devastating to say the least. It seems like a movie, and this is not happening to my family. My sister has been amazing in all of this. She has shown so much honor and courage in this situation, which makes his lack of love for her even harder to understand. He is deceived. Even his family cannot understand some of his thought processes. But at this point, I have been emotionally involved. I had so much respect for him as a person and could not believe he would do this to my sister. So this is one of the main things that have been on my heart for the last month or so, among so many other things that I will continue to share, but this has been the most life-changing experience. The Place - The next thing is the church. I have reserved writing about the church because I know that the people that are against the church may possibly read this blog. To them I say: I no longer care what you think about The Place. The Place is my home. It is the church my dad is pastor of. Yes it has its faults, but things have been done in accordance to what the scriptures say. People have left because they thought things were being done too harshly. They left with a vendetta against the church and its pastor, my dad. So naturally I will be a bit defensive on more then one level. I don’t understand how people feel that holding onto an offense and spreading their lies around are going to make them look righteous and upstanding? Either way, we have had to deal with one family in particular making it their business to make sure everyone knows how they feel about the church. This has been hard. Because it was this family in which I had the most hope, the most love and care put into. I was drawn to them. I wanted to love them and be loved by them. In this respect, I was let down and hurt by their actions. I realize now I have to let them go. They will do what they want to do. I cannot be angry and resentful towards them, for honestly I don’t think they know what they are even doing. Like my brother-in-law Jeff, they too are deceived. They are blinded by their offense. This is one aspect of what I’ve been dealing with in the church. Jeff was an elder, this family were (what I thought) an important role in The Place, both letting themselves be deceived by the enemy and causing damage to the ones nearest them. In the end more people took on their offense and left the church as well. In the same time frame God had chosen, perhaps to use all of this, to sift through and get back down to the bare bones of The Place and work again at building it up. For a while we weren’t sure we had enough support to keep the church going. My family was in turmoil, with what was happening to my sister, and now with the families we cared so much about slandering the church and the leaders in it, we all felt like giving up. I know for me I wondered what the future held. I knew God was with us. And that He was for us and not against us. I had faith that whatever His will was would be, and if that meant no more church, then that’s what it meant. Though deep down I felt strongly the church was/should continue. There was fear that if the church ended the people who left would find some kind of victory had been won on their part. I prayed for vindication of my father and The Place. But I knew, whether the church ended or not, the people who left with their offenses would be gloating no matter what. They are probably gloating now at the fact that the church is struggling. But if I focus on that, then I am looking at the wrong thing. Well these were feelings I struggled with, knowing that this is not what should matter to me. We had an all church meeting on September 18th, 2005. I was very gratefully and pleasantly surprised to see the support come through for The Place. It was a very encouraging night. The Place will continue. We have enough members willing to support the different roles in place of a church. I am now excited for the new beginning, knowing that the people there support and respect the leadership in place at the church. I look forward to see where God brings us. The Place has to move because of the cost of rent at our current location. We are still in prayer over where to have church. But after the meeting, it doesn’t seem as important somehow. I guess because knowing that a church is not a building but the people in it. We have a church, even if it’s out of our home (which truth be told, there are too many members to be able to fit into a home! PRAISE GOD!)! My family didn’t know until 18 hours before we had to be out of our old house where we were moving to. Hey, if God can do that for us, He’s able to do it for The Place. I am encouraged by the church, the people in it, and where God is going to take the Place. Unmentionable - Well I had more to share but as I thought about sharing it, I realized I wasn’t at liberty to do so. As much as it impacts my life, it is not directly my life having to make that decision and well, it hasn’t been totally decided yet. So there is another aspect of my life that was in turmoil for a while. It still is to some extent because things are still up in the air. But until he makes a decision I feel that I need to respect his privacy. As to the smaller items … my knee, last checkup, finances, etc. My knee – My knee has always dislocated every year or so. I finally decided to mention it at my last doctor’s appointment and they had me get x-rays of it. I got the results back Thursday. They said I have effusion (?sp) of the knee, water of the knee. My knee apparently has water in it. They say it’s caused by trauma to the knee. Well hmm… Ok that explains why it’s weak and still pops out every-so-often, but doesn’t explain why it happened in the first place. So they are requesting I do physical therapy. Last Checkup – So I went to the doctors earlier this month with a list to check out. My sister has hypothyroidism and well I figured, since it was genetic, I should get mine checked out. So that came back fine, so no clinical excuses for my weight gain in the last couple years, ;) other then sheer laziness. My blood work came back with high Cholesterol. High enough they want me on medication. I haven’t heard back from them about my prescription so I will have to call Monday. I’ve done a lot of research and found that if I have a tablespoon of cinnamon a day it really helps lower Cholesterol (thanks Sam), that Flaxseed really helps with the bad Cholesterol levels (thanks Michelle) and exercise helps with good Cholesterol levels (thanks internet), that fish has a natural oil that helps reduce Cholesterol and I should have one serving a week of fish (thanks internet) and Rachel gave me some pointers in there as well. So going back to the gym has been good but I’ve allowed my schedule to dictate when I can go. I think at this point I will have to make it a priority, not just to lose weight but to be healthier. Finances – Finances are the main thing going well in my life right now. So I’ve already explained that my credit score went up 100 points in less then a year. After that point I’ve paid off 3 credit cards in the last couple months. I have one large one left, from my ex. I have sadly been stuck with that one since 2001. When I first got all my debt out of control I could barely make payments. I closed the actual credit cards and left the retail store cards open. Not exactly the smartest thing but I didn’t know what else to do at the time. Since then I’ve learned so much about credit and how to manage it. I’m excited for the fresh start. The fresh start won’t happen until Jan/Feb 2006 but still. It’s close! This last payday I have been cutting it close because I paid off my credit card (I had two, one was my ex’s debt and one was mine), and I threw Sam a 30th birthday party so that was quite expensive but fun! I’ll be curious once my debt is paid off and I’m putting money in savings what my credit score will be then. I am hoping to buy a car in July 2006. I’ve been looking at the Scion tC’s. They are a nice looking car but I’m not sure until I actually go test drive one and see how it feels. It seems reasonably priced so we’ll have to go see it. Work – Work is stressful but nothing like it used to be. I am enjoying it again. I get overwhelmed because I wish I was better at doing more with my time but I am making changes to help in that area. I am determined to make the department better by January when I go back in for another review. My supervisor has been helping me realize how to relate as a manager. Well I have plans for my day so I am going to leave it at this for now. I am going to spend some time with my best friend Rachel at her place. :) Watch a movie or two. I have pictures from Sam's 30th Birthday Party at his parents place in Yucaipa, and at the rate I get pictures up it'll be a while, but I will try to get them posted soon!
posted by Charity at 9/25/2005 03:01:00 PM
Monday, September 19, 2005
My pirate name is:
Dirty Charity Flint
You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
posted by Charity at 9/19/2005 01:53:00 PM
Monday, September 12, 2005
Here's how I style the hair... A little more volume and curl... But I'm a bit tired in the picture. hehe Second Day - styled by myself 
First Day - styled by Jeremy at Jeremy Christophers
posted by Charity at 9/12/2005 09:24:00 PM
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
So it's my day off... :) And what a day off it's been! I woke up this morning at 6:45am... Sleeping in which felt good! I got ready and drove to the Barstow DMV to take Arrowhead Credit Union off the title to my car as the lein holder since I paid the car off back in Dec 04.... So I get to the DMV at 8:15 and I don't see a line. But I see a bunch of people sitting in their cars. So I decide... what the heck... I'll go up to the doors. I don't want to wait around for someone else to do it. I had seen a sign that said something like dmv customers line up here. So I had been standing there. Sure enough, after standing at the door everyone else started to get out of their cars. A few people tried to get in front of me as they stated they had been there since 6:30 or 7:15 ... But I stayed where the line said to start... Luckily someone behind me informed them that they weren't standing where the line needed to be and they were forced behind me without me even making a big deal about it! hehe So I started reading the first of the Narnia series "The Magicians Nephew" to pass time. The doors opened exactly at 9:00am and I was walking back out to my car by 9:04am! I was totally smilin! I drove home and worked through Sam's guest list for his bday party in a couple weeks. I stopped by a party place to pick up an extra pack of invitations and reserved a hellium tank for the party. I then went to my hair appointment with Jeremy. I love the way Jeremy cuts and colors my hair, though every time he styles it, it's really flat on my head and as I've said before ... with a round face, flat hair ain't that attractive. ;) But here it is...    Like I said... a bit flat to the head and with the new color it should have better body when I style it tomorrow. Maybe I'll upload another pic tomorrow too... :) So after the hair appointment I drove past the furniture store that I've been dying to get my dresser from. I found out Monday they don't sell the 4-drawer dresser anymore and they gave me the impression I couldn't order it either. So I decided as I drove past today to ask who the distributer was. I talked to the guy and sure enough they can special order it!!!! I was sooo excited! Sam gave me the money for the dresser as a birthday gift and I wasn't sure what to buy in it's place. I mean it's not an extremely expensive dresser. But it's better then the dressers you'd find at Target or Walmart. Either way I was totally happy! Now I am just waiting for my doctors appointment which is at 3pm. Then the rest of the day I can relax. :-D
posted by Charity at 9/07/2005 02:08:00 PM
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