Man it's been a hectic day! I got up early so I could drive down to work with my dad. Got my coffee and muffin for breakfast and noticed a more bitter taste in my coffee then usual. So I didn't finish it. I get to work and feel fairly productive till about 11 when my stomach started growling so bad I had to get something to eat. I noticed my mood was a bit short by this point. My dad and I went to lunch together. Sam and the guys were going to the shooting range and as much as I love going with them I couldn't afford that long of a lunch (it usually ends up being a couple hours). So I asked my dad if he wanted company. I could tell he was happy I was going with him. But he was definitely cantankerous! My goodness. We were both nice enough to each other but had a bit of a bite in our comebacks. hehe
I get back from lunch and am working along and suddenly at 3pm my mind decides to stop! I am not able to focus on anything. Not even stuff I would like to focus on rather then work. I became very zoned. I did the best I could with the last couple hours of work. I go home with my dad and he's trying to continue on his upbeat thought process. Apparently he has been fighting to stay positive today so he was just talking positively until he became positive. I on the other hand started to get a headache. I found that in his excitement his voice would raise up and I was trying soo hard to be nice but tell him that the headache wasn't taking kindly to his loudness. He understood. He tried. I couldn't fault him for that... But it would eventually get right back up there.
By the time I got home the headache was intense. It wasn't just a headache it was now turning into depression. I was just REALLY down all of the sudden. I didn't know how to feel about anything. Nothing was upsetting me, but yet I couldn't get myself out of the funk. My dad was trying so hard. I just got some peace and quiet for about 10 minutes. I messaged Sam and told him I could use a friendly voice, so he and I talked a few more moments before I had to head to youthgroup. I took 4 ibuprofin's and headed out the door for youthgroup. Praying the whole time that I would get out of this funk before I got to youthgroup.
I drive up and make a conscious effort that I'm not going to be negative and that I'm going to be upbeat. It must have helped cause before I knew it I was really enjoying myself. We talked about how we were going to do a going away party for Rachel and Tom since they are now focusing their efforts on worship and not the youth. We also talked about another project we're having them work on to get to know different individuals in the church better. And then I spoke a little on being gracious to people around us. Today I found that I have really struggled with being gracious to people. I'm too critical. People get on my nerves too quickly... or too many people get on my nerves I guess. I guess my dad has noticed this and today just made a quick comment about usually it's the person being annoyed that has the problem. I don't think he intended it to hit home as much as it did. It was a passing comment. I started asking him how this could be when I expressed my annoyances and how ANYONE would get annoyed with the people like that. He kept bringing it back to having grace for one another. I really thought hard about it all day. And it was a good topic for discussion since I was convicted for the last two weeks on the subject. So we had a discussion about that. Then I asked to play African Uno! We played that over an hour. We had a good time. Lots of laughs. I actually noticed a few times in the night how different my attitude had become.
So all-in-all it's been a great day. I left youth and drove home and gave the parents an update. I talked to my mom a little about my plans for my candle party this weekend. I am housesitting for Sam so Friday night I'll be down the hill but I'll come home Saturday morning to help clean the house and prepare for the party. I'm not sure who all will be able to make it. A lot of my friends are going to be out of town. Anyways, it's my bedtime. I need sleep. I have another early morning ahead of me.
Goodnight
posted by Charity at 8/02/2005 10:05:00 PM 
