There are different seasons in everyone's life. Right now I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of change. If it's not one area of my life, it's another. It's been a bit overwhelming. It wasn't until I was driving to church this morning that I really decided to accept the change in anticipation and excitement rather then panick or dread. This last week has been a rough week. One that gave me a taste of what's to come and it wasn't easy or fun and I haven't even added school to the mix.
I am wondering if I will have any kind of social life in the next few months. Yet I seem to be getting myself in more trouble being the social butterfly that I am in combination with the new sense of self confidence with my weight loss. So maybe this lack of a social life will be good for me (see Side Note below). Help me stay on track and have the right focus.
Side Note: Something I've realized recently, I haven't shared much about my dating life, mostly because there is a lot of dating and nothing substantial coming from it. But I've seen a pattern. I tend to fall for the most impossible guys. Impossible in the fact that there is no possible chance that a good, healthy relationship can come of it. It doesn't help that I'm not meeting any men that share my beliefs which is a priority for me. Yet I fell for one of these "impossible" guys, one that has polar opposite beliefs, one that was in every way the wrong guy. We fooled ourselves into thinking that talking about the fact that we shouldn't get into a relationship was the same as staying out of one. WRONG. It was never declared a relationship, I think we both knew labeling it what it was didn't change the fact that it shouldn't be. I have made a decision that casual dating is not something I should be involved in especially since I can have good intentions of stearing clear of the wrong guys but there is always the chance of falling for one.
I've been finding it difficult to get my time management under control. It doesn't help that my work is not a static mon-fri/9-6 schedule. I have always been someone that keeps a fairly social life but I'm finding it difficult to find time for my friends, and sadly a few have been a little less then understanding about my lack of availability. And in the coming months I don't see how I will be available for much more then a phone call here or there.
What hit me today is that God may want this for my life for a while. I can only hope my friends will be understanding in the midst of it, because as in all seasons, things change and it won't always be like this.
My brother has opted for the surgery to remove his colon. It's scheduled for early April. April 5th I believe. It's a pretty heavy duty surgery. He will be out for a good 4-6 weeks and will have 3-12 months of getting used to the lack of his colon. It's a serious lifestyle change! And there are a lot of possible complications that can occur. We are nervous but feel this is going to be the best thing for his health. But please keep him in your prayers.
I found out my Grandpa (on my dads side) is dying. He has cancer and it's so far gone, he's chosen to stay at home and be comfortable with the time he has left. He lives in Minnesota and I desperately hope to make it out there to see him one last time, I just don't know if that will happen. I have one comfort in knowing where he will go when he's gone and that I will see him again. It's just hard to know he will be gone soon.
I hate to end this post on that note but I've just realized I'm running out of time to get ready for the monthly worship concert at the church tonight. Which btw, I'm meeting someone for the first time. He works with a friend who goes to my church and she's been trying to hook us up for a while, so we'll see how it goes...
posted by Charity at 3/07/2010 04:51:00 PM 
